Some ways to get out Safely
by Crystal Barrett
(On a rock, Florida, USA)
I lived with emotional abuse. One thing I have learned as a Victim Advocate is that every person who is the victim of abuse has their own limits and the abuse I endured is not less or more simply because of the type of abuse or how it was meted out.
When it is time for you to go you will want to be prepared to do so safely. Safety when leaving is of the utmost importance because this is the most dangerous time. Even abusers who were not physically abusive before may suddenly turn violent, make threats, carry out those threats against you and/or your children.
You may not be anywhere close to ready to leave right now. That is okay but think about this. When you are ready you may not have time to do anything but leave with the clothes on your back.
If you find you are already isolated from your friends and family it is going to be all the more difficult to leave.
Have a savings account in your name only, preferably in a bank separate from your abuser. Try to have enough money for a bus ticket, or taxi money, food for a day or two. You need a photo ID, Social Security card, and any other paperwork that you might find useful to get a job or travel. Remember, very often you are not able to travel on a bus or airline without a photo ID.
Keep some clothes in a backpack with a friend or in the trunk of your car. If you need to disguise it put it in a trash bag (and tell your abuser it is for the salvation army donation)
In fact you could if need by go to the salvation army and explain your situation. Ask them to hold a backpack for you for a couple of days. Know the hotline numbers for Domestic Abuse. Don't put number in your phone, if you do use a name like Aunt Martha instead of Domestic Abuse. You could even switch the last two numbers so it can't be automatically dialed.
Keep a spare pay as you go phone, keep money on it and keep it charged. Hide it in your purse and use it only in the case of emergency.
I hope you find this helpful.
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