by Abby
(New York, NY)

During the past few years as a survivor and observer of domestic violence perpetrators I have come to the conclusion that they all must have acquired the same education somewhere!
The following describes what a DV University education might look like.

Locations: Worldwide
Financial Status: All economic levels
Ethnic/Racial Preference: NONE
Gender Preference: NONE (GLTBQ included)
Tuition Funding Supplied by: Dysfuntional families,Entertainment/Advertising Media,Judicial System Injustice/Ignorance,Social Apathy

Welcome to DVU! Your only requirement for acceptance is that you have the emotional maturity of a two year old!
*Believe that YOU are the center of the universe
*Hate to share or play well with others
*Throw tantrums when not getting your way
*Always deny any wrong doing when caught
*Use tears to gain forgiveness

*Attracting Your Victim
(How to be charming and show your 'good' qualities/actions)
*Effective Insulting and Put-Downs
(How to convince them it's because you 'care' and they have so many faults)
*Perfecting Your Public Mask
(How to rarely,if ever,show your true side to outsiders)

CONGRATULATIONS! You are now qualified to be just a general jerk that can make life truly miserable for your victim and any children unfortunate enough to be in your life! Continue on to your BA Degree.

*Effective Manipulation
(Learn all the 'right buttons' to push so your victim loses as much self esteem as possible and make sure your children think the victim is responsible
*Creative/Persistant Denial
(Lies repeated often enough can become accepted and even make your victim doubt what they see, hear or feel)
*Escalate Control
(Never admit you are wrong, it's your way or the hiway, monitor your victims' activities, withold money,threaten to leave and remind them that you are the only one who can truly love them and discourage any attempts to become independant)

CONGRATULATIONS! You are now ready to move on to a PHD!

(An 'attention-getting' action that will usually result in extreme fear and obedience when deemed 'necessary')
(Your victim 'made you', you had too much to drink, you are under stress, you were abused, your religion/culture says it's OK and so MANY other excuses too numerous to list here)
(Take advantage of DV ignorance and learn how to use your charm and your enabling friends and family members to convince law enforcement and the Courts that you are also a victim and always deny that you were the cause of any injuries)
(Promise to change and always agree to counseling even though you 'know' YOU don't need it and learn all the Psych terms to use to your advantage. Remind your victim that no one else will love them like you do and if all else fails; threaten to kill yourself- or them)

CONGRATULATIONS! You are now qualified to cause extreme damage not only to your victim but to all of society in general! Just think of the financial cost alone to our Health Care, Legal and Welfare Systems! Think of how you can destroy the future happiness and emotional health of your children!

* In all seriousness,despite this 'education', the truth is that we are all born with a free will to choose otherwise. I pray that you do so.

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